Resolutions.

Last night my room mate turned to me and asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Not really sure if he was being sarcastic or serious, I simply looked at him for a minute. Then some thoughts began to come.

Information systems is my major; a major I know a decent amount about. What is my experience with information systems? Well, I don't exactly have any. In fact, I haven't even taken a class. How do I know if I will enjoy it? Frankly, I don't. I do know, however, that I have done well in all of the prereq classes. Did I enjoy them? Not particularly.

Well if I don't know if I will enjoy information systems, what do I know that I like? I like reading and writing, as long it is by my own free will. I enjoy designing websites and learning to create them on my own. Not those generic websites you learn to make in CS 100. I'm talking about real websites. I also enjoy photography.

Naturally, the next question comes: Why am I not majoring in something I know I like? Hm, that's a tough one. Maybe it is because too many people are better at them than I am. All around me are people that excel in these areas and even though I enjoy them, I've never particularly excelled in them.

But when did I ever excel in information systems? Wow, you got me again.

My father spent his life doing things he didn't enjoy because of difficult circumstances. He wanted to be a forest ranger. He still wants to be a forest ranger. He knew what he enjoyed back then and he still enjoys the same things decades later, but he will never become that forest ranger. I don't want to live with the regret my father lives with. Do what you enjoy.

And that is how I came to make this list of resolutions. It is time to excel in what I enjoy doing.

• Always have a good book on hand.
• Work on my writing through my blog.
• Learn some things about web design.
• Take up photography.

Never Say Never.

As I strolled through my journal, I came across this entry.

Today began early with ice on my windshield. Fifteen hours and nine hundred miles later, we arrived at West Jordan, Utah.

Now my parents were both afraid to let me drive my truck to Utah by myself and so despite my constant assurances that I was a fully capable adult, I followed Jenny and her family. And we traveled the speed limit almost the entire trip. Hence, the fifteen hours. Surprisingly, the drive was practically painless. As long as I had my music blaring, I was good to go.

But while I'm writing this, I want to take a moment to make a point. About a half hour out of Reno, exhaustion began to set in. Whether it was the pancakes I had eaten for breakfast or the sheer lack of good scenery I cannot say. But I do know one thing for sure: nothing would shake the drooping eyelids. And John Mayor certainly wasn't helping. In those desperate moments when it seemed like there wasn't anything to awaken me, a thought occurred to me. Put in rock! And so I did. And it worked. Three Doors Down came to my rescue. No matter what anyone says, rock music has its place and its purpose; if only to keep awake drivers with heavy eyelids.

And another thing. Never again will I pay $3.56 per gallon for gasoline. Dumb Elko.

Never again will I pay $3.56 per gallon? For some reason, I don't think I'm going to be able to keep that promise.

My Dad's Story

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am Craig L. Myers, age 55, who was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma April 2004 by Dr. John Howard here in Chico at Enloe Hospital. It came as a real shock as I would imagine many cases do and we were devastated in the beginning. As we progressed into the program we learned what to expect with each visit.

It was an accident that the Myeloma was found due to several months of treatment for Pulmonary Embolisms. I had three of those taken care of by Dr. Verma. But something was still wrong with the results to tests that I had received. Doctor Howard an Oncologist/Hematologist and his staff worked diligently to find the cause of my aches and pains. Knowing there was a cancer somewhere he searched until he found the cause through the Bone Marrow Biopsy. I can’t thank his staff enough for the words of kindness that they gave to us in making us feel part of their family.

We were connected with Dr. Martin at UC San Francisco through Dr. Howard and found Dr Martin to be just as concerned and kind as Dr. Howard. We met many new staff members including Tom Leahy the one who followed me around and made sure that I was doing well and he was just as kind and considerate as all of the others.

We set the date for an Autologous Stem Cell Transplant and began the Chemo Treatments. After three months of the first one we found that it hadn't worked at all. So after two weeks we began the second treatment which finally did the job. By this time I had learned all of the Nurses on the fourth floor in Enloe and they always knew when I was there the day that I arrived and tried to make me feel like I was the only person on their floor.

The Transplant occurred in November 2004 at UCSF Medical Center. I can remember things up to the last Chemo and the White Cell Extraction, then the rest is a cloud for several months. I guess I was lucky because I gave them twice as many cells as they needed in the first four hour session. They took another bunch the next day because the day before I had run a high temperature for 24 hours and we weren’t sure the cells would be good. The doctors and nurses there were attentative and considerate too.

It was great to have a family to support me along with the doctors and nurses in this time of disaster; especially my wife Sherry who spent all of the time she had at my bedside even sleeping in one of those fold out chairs for as long as her poor body could take it. She pirated in some real food as often as possible. I mean the food there is healthy, but as Crocodile Dundee would say, “It taste like dung.” The first month was spent in the Hospital and then 11 months were spent at home without visitors ending up with the next year behind a medical mask if I wanted to see someone. But most of the time I didn’t feel like seeing anyone anyway. There were still times when I became neutropenic and had to go back to the mask for a time.

In January 2006 after only 14 months I came out of remission and had to start looking for some kind of treatment to hold off the cancer a bit longer. We then found Doctor Wolf and his staff and went into a Revlimid Trial treatment at Alta Bates. Now we were traveling to two hospitals in the Bay Area and one on Chico for treatments. During this trial we dealt with three strokes at home through which I had lost my speech and some of my memory. I thought that my speech had come back and repaired itself until last week I heard a recording of myself and it brought tears to my eyes to realize that I appeared to be a drunk with slurred speech.

I have been off the Revlimid for six months now and my counts are moving very slowly. We don’t know when that will change but we don’t think of that part any more than necessary.

Through these past four years we have received the blessing of 10 grandchildren, something I wasn’t sure I would have the chance to ever appreciate and each one of them a very special individual.

With my wonderful family and doctors I continue to strive to improve and make my life as meaningful as possible. My wife takes me up to the mountains and National Parks which are close by and I can continue to express myself through photography. And through my lens I can see some of the miracles of nature. She has taken me over to the coast and the botanical garden there to just sit on the beach and listen to the waves on the shore and the call of the seagulls to me is very soothing. They took me to Colorado Rocky Mountain Park one year where my son lives and he took me up to see the Elk, being patient with my inability to walk very fast on uneven ground. I have fallen a few times but I keep getting back up realizing that one day I may not, But it’s NOT TODAY!

With all of the help and support, the last four years have gone by fast and they have been very enjoyable. I love spending time in the garden and get excited at each bloom that come up and out. Even as I struggle some days, knowing that I must force myself to get out of bed; take that walk; or what ever else is laid before me for the day. I see that day and every other as a blessing that I can still experience another day, another laugh, smile, joke, or baby bird or sprouting flower as a day to get up and try and leave the bad days behind me to remember NOT TODAY! Get up and experience today.