Conspiracy Theory.
Election day arrives and a shocking headline hits news stands across America: "Barack Obama's Grandmother Dies."
America reads the headline and mourns for Obama. Five minutes later, suspicions begin to arise.
The election was going well for the Barack Obama campaign. Obama lead polls across America. But was it enough? Perhaps Obama didn't think so. So in an effort to influence a simpathy vote, he killed his grandmother. Not!
Come on, folks. Barack Obama did not kill his grandmother. We're talking about the woman who loved, raised, and cared for Obama during his childhood. His only remaining close relative. His grandma who was diagnosed with cancer just a month ago. Terminal cancer. Besides, Obama has an alibi. He has been traveling across America in a final effort to turn Americans to his cause. Barack Obama did not kill his grandmother.
But where has Michelle Obama been?
Michelle has declared her unconditional love for her husband in press conferences across America. She wants nothing more than to see her husband become President and would do anything to ensure his success. Reports from several American citizens have claimed witnessing Michelle board a Boeing 767 on Sunday morning. Destination? Hawaii.
Refering to his grandmother, Barack is cited as saying, "She was the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances."
We can only speculate as to what words were exchanged between Michelle and Grandma Obama just before she died. Perhaps it went something like this:
Grandma: "Michelle, take a chance. I have lived a good life and I am willing to end it for the campaign, for my Barack."
Michelle: "I could never!"
Grandma: "Michelle, the race is close. This could sway the vote. I have terminal cancer. I'm dying. Just do it before I change my mind."
Congressman Neil Abercrombie, a friend of the family, stated, "[Grandma Obama] passed away confident that he would succeed."
Why so confident? You be the judge.
(This article is strictly fictional.)
America reads the headline and mourns for Obama. Five minutes later, suspicions begin to arise.
The election was going well for the Barack Obama campaign. Obama lead polls across America. But was it enough? Perhaps Obama didn't think so. So in an effort to influence a simpathy vote, he killed his grandmother. Not!
Come on, folks. Barack Obama did not kill his grandmother. We're talking about the woman who loved, raised, and cared for Obama during his childhood. His only remaining close relative. His grandma who was diagnosed with cancer just a month ago. Terminal cancer. Besides, Obama has an alibi. He has been traveling across America in a final effort to turn Americans to his cause. Barack Obama did not kill his grandmother.
But where has Michelle Obama been?
Michelle has declared her unconditional love for her husband in press conferences across America. She wants nothing more than to see her husband become President and would do anything to ensure his success. Reports from several American citizens have claimed witnessing Michelle board a Boeing 767 on Sunday morning. Destination? Hawaii.
Refering to his grandmother, Barack is cited as saying, "She was the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances."
We can only speculate as to what words were exchanged between Michelle and Grandma Obama just before she died. Perhaps it went something like this:
Grandma: "Michelle, take a chance. I have lived a good life and I am willing to end it for the campaign, for my Barack."
Michelle: "I could never!"
Grandma: "Michelle, the race is close. This could sway the vote. I have terminal cancer. I'm dying. Just do it before I change my mind."
Congressman Neil Abercrombie, a friend of the family, stated, "[Grandma Obama] passed away confident that he would succeed."
Why so confident? You be the judge.
(This article is strictly fictional.)
posted by Brett at
12:37 PM
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